Another Return to the Toon

Sound familiar?

Well dear readers, it's been at least 4 games, so Newcastle are eligible to replace their manager again. Honestly though, how long ago did this stop being funny?

Last night in a complete shock appointment, Newcastle United replaced their interim manager to the interim manager (sound like a hit British-turned-American television show to anyone else?) with another interim manager. This time, it's the legend, the golden boy, the chosen one, the great SIR ALAN SHEARER.

This appointment brings a couple completely disparate thoughts to my head. First off, sheer and utter joy. Alan Shearer is a hero of mine. This is a local boy, born in Gateshead to an sheet metal worker. Grew up loving Newcastle United with all his heart. As he got older and his feet became more and more golden, he somehow turned up at Blackburn. Obviously, he couldn't stay there for too long, and that was when the great Manchester United came calling. And as much money that they would throw at the great man, as many songs that they would sing for him, he rejected the Mancs for his true love, Newcastle United. He stayed there for ten great seasons and became an absolute legend to the Geordie faithful, and the club's all-time leading scorer. Now, mind you, he never won a single piece of silverware during this time, but from all he said and did during and after his career at Newcastle, he never once regretted his decision and is still the biggest living legend in the Northeast of England.

That same lack of silverware in a striped shirt might be the biggest reason he is chosing to return to his beloved club - this time possibly opting for a striped necktie. A squad led by Alan Shearer will be a worthy squad in the eyes of a Newcastle supporter, and we will all have true faith in the fact that, while he may not have a lick of individual Premiership experience, he will bring a passion and fire to the game that not even King Kev can match.

This brings me to my next point. The inexperience. While I DO believe this is a very timely and wise decision by Mr. Ashley, to bring in a man who can galvanize a team and bring an energy to the club at a time when a few quick points are so desperately needed to just get us out of the relegation quagmire, looking at the future beyond the next 8 games, things get a little murkier. As I mentioned, he's got no Premiership experience apart from being Glen Roeder's right-hand-man while picking up the horrible Souness pieces. He's taking charge of a club in absolute crisis, with an ownership that has proven to be indecisive, obtuse, and difficult. He's doing more of a favor to the club than the club is doing to him, this can be sure.

So during the next 8 matches, one of two things will happen. 1) The Chosen One won't be able to steer the ship away from the iceburg that we've all been able to see since October, and we will continue towards the Coca-Cola Championship. If this does happen, it might be an actual blessing for Mr. Shearer, as he will have less pressure (this is an arguable point, since we MUST be back up after only one season), have a younger squad willing to listen to him, and after the year be able to come back into the top flight with a squad who is his, and is working as a unit. Or 2) The Golden Boy will turn out to truly be golden, and we will escape relegation. Then over the close season, there will be many, many, many decisions to make. The first - what happens to Alan? The second, in conjunction - what happens to Joe Kinnear, Dennis Wise, and all of the above's relationship to Cashley and Lambias? The third - what happens to the overpaid and underperforming players? The fourth - what happens to our current, fantastic youth squad? The fifth - what happens with bringing in new players? And so on. These questions are dreadfully obvious and vague - I'd hate to be in Alan's role when the specifics come into questions - since, keep in mind, he and I technically have the same amount of top-flight managerial experience....

So for the night, may my voice be horse and may my pint glass be empty. Over and over again. But we all know what happened last time Mike Ashley made an emotional decision to win over the Newcastle United supporters - King Kev tempted us all to believe and we ended up swallowing the trojan horse whole. Let's not let the same thing happen again.

HOWAY THE LADS AND HOWAY SIR ALAN SHEARER!!!