Newcastle United Weekend Wrapup (+ personal announcement)
The only thing worse than having to sit through a depressing 90-minute match and then write about it, is having to sit through a depressing 90-minute match, having to write about it, having the POWER temporarily go out while I'm beginning my concluding paragraph of a really great post, then having to write about it again. But it's because of the LOVE that I keep coming back. So here I am again.
Where shall I begin? Umm....hhhmmmm......welllllllllllll, Okay! I'll start with Glenn Roeder's idiocy.
If you recall my preview, I suggested that we got with the time-tested 4-4-2 formation. But instead, the brilliance and genius that is Glenn Roeder, decided to form the almost as popular 4-4-1-1 formation. Has anybody out there seen the commercial where some moron is trying to save money on color copies, so he brings a CAT in the office who can somehow manage to hold a paint brush, and begins mimicking things with oil paints onto a canvas, and the guy calls it a COPY CAT? Well, it almost seems to me that good ol' GR has a similar method at picking lineups before every match. Let's break it down. It's really not that complicated.
A) He plays Titus Bramble. DONT PLAY TITUS BRAMBLE. Now, even though we did manage to keep a clean sheet this match, Titus was EXTREMELY close to giving up another one of his bone-head, game-losing plays for us again. I almost spit up my lunch when I saw that ignoramus trip and fall and kick the ball DIRECTLY to Darren Bent who only had the keeper to beat. But luckily, I DIDNT spit up my lunch, and generous Mr. Bent, somehow, missed his shot by a mile.
B) He messes with the formation again. Glenn, just keep it simple, okay? That's how you brought us out of the cellar last season - by not trying to ruffle feathers, and by playing the players in their desired rolls, and letting them play their own football, without any coach getting in their way. And all of the sudden, this season, you think you're Albert Einstein with a clipboard. I understand why you think 5 midfielders MIGHT work, but it won't. Trust me. It HASN'T. We all have dreams of "hey - I'll bet if we played a 8-1-1 all season, we wouldn't give up a goal against ANYBODY!!" or "You know, Our keeper has a really strong foot. We should play a 4-4-3 without a keeper, because we'd score so many goals, who needs him?!?!" But you know what? Only video game coaches act on those instincts. Not premiership managers. (I realize the difference between 4 mids and 5 might not be quite as wide as I made it out to be in this paragraph, but I'm ranting, here. Cut me some slack.)
C) As I alluded to before, he played Damien Duff in a striker role along side Giuseppi Rossi. Now, I really like Duff AND Rossi, and they both showed that they're class players on Saturday. (Actually, I think Duff should have gotten man of the match instead of the no-thrills defensive mid, Butt) They both created numerous, numerous chances. But you know the difference between an out and out striker who's out for blood, and a midfielder who has a strong shot? Just watch Duff on Saturday and you'll KNOW the difference. The guy was able to get around all of his markers, but once he got the chance, he would (no pun intended) duff it. (Well okay, I sort of intended that pun. Wasn't it fabulous?) Most of his shots were with his weak right foot, a natural occurrence if you're put in a position that Damien was. I lay no blame on Duff whatsoever - and a LOT of blame on the gaffer for this one. As I said in the preview, two other options who would have performed better in that role would have been Charles N'Zogbia and James Milner. I know that Roeder chose Duff for his size. But both of those guys know how to get in front of goal and SHOOT the ball to score goals.
D) And this is sort of a tangential thing, because it didn't really cause us to lose the game, but it DID illustrate Glenn's poor decision making, as if attempting to drive the steak FURTHER into my heart. His substitution in the 83rd minute of Milner for Solano. 1) We're dominating the game. Change the lineup to a 4-3-3 and put Milner up front. We need goals. Solano had been doing a fine job of getting crosses in but was, in fact, winded at that stage of the game. But substituting a wing for another wing THAT LATE in the game isn't going to accomplish anything. Milner had no impact on the game once he got in. He only had a few touches, and barely got warmed up. He should have brought in Milner in the 70th minute, moved Duff back to left wing with Parker and in the middle and Solano on the right. Take out Butt, and play Rossi at the top of the striking triangle with N'Zogbia and Milner on the sides. That would have been something and I'm sure would have been more effective.
Now, I can already hear all the critics of the international footballing blog-sphere ((namely RAY WRIGLEY)(HA!)) start to get all hot and bothered, saying things like "Monday evening gaffer!" And "Sure, it's easy to say in YOUR position." Well, for them, I'd like to now make a personal announcement. Eghhhgghhem. (Sorry I had something stuck in there)
This season, I will officially begin training to obtain my first official coaching license, better known as "The Badges." There are five steps to this process, and it will be a long journey ahead if I ever want to manage my beloved Newcastle United Football Club. But beginning soon, I will be undertaking (technically) the same process as SIR ALAN SHEARER, and obtaining the required licensure to be a legitimate football manager. (Note: The infinitely wise Glenn Roeder does NOT posess the usually-required licenses, and he has obtained his post by extenuating circumstances, which I happen to agree with and support, in his case. Just wanted to put that out there, though.) So you can count on the fact that before you know it, I'll be climbing the ranks to become a big time football gaffer.
Where shall I begin? Umm....hhhmmmm......welllllllllllll, Okay! I'll start with Glenn Roeder's idiocy.
If you recall my preview, I suggested that we got with the time-tested 4-4-2 formation. But instead, the brilliance and genius that is Glenn Roeder, decided to form the almost as popular 4-4-1-1 formation. Has anybody out there seen the commercial where some moron is trying to save money on color copies, so he brings a CAT in the office who can somehow manage to hold a paint brush, and begins mimicking things with oil paints onto a canvas, and the guy calls it a COPY CAT? Well, it almost seems to me that good ol' GR has a similar method at picking lineups before every match. Let's break it down. It's really not that complicated.
A) He plays Titus Bramble. DONT PLAY TITUS BRAMBLE. Now, even though we did manage to keep a clean sheet this match, Titus was EXTREMELY close to giving up another one of his bone-head, game-losing plays for us again. I almost spit up my lunch when I saw that ignoramus trip and fall and kick the ball DIRECTLY to Darren Bent who only had the keeper to beat. But luckily, I DIDNT spit up my lunch, and generous Mr. Bent, somehow, missed his shot by a mile.
B) He messes with the formation again. Glenn, just keep it simple, okay? That's how you brought us out of the cellar last season - by not trying to ruffle feathers, and by playing the players in their desired rolls, and letting them play their own football, without any coach getting in their way. And all of the sudden, this season, you think you're Albert Einstein with a clipboard. I understand why you think 5 midfielders MIGHT work, but it won't. Trust me. It HASN'T. We all have dreams of "hey - I'll bet if we played a 8-1-1 all season, we wouldn't give up a goal against ANYBODY!!" or "You know, Our keeper has a really strong foot. We should play a 4-4-3 without a keeper, because we'd score so many goals, who needs him?!?!" But you know what? Only video game coaches act on those instincts. Not premiership managers. (I realize the difference between 4 mids and 5 might not be quite as wide as I made it out to be in this paragraph, but I'm ranting, here. Cut me some slack.)
C) As I alluded to before, he played Damien Duff in a striker role along side Giuseppi Rossi. Now, I really like Duff AND Rossi, and they both showed that they're class players on Saturday. (Actually, I think Duff should have gotten man of the match instead of the no-thrills defensive mid, Butt) They both created numerous, numerous chances. But you know the difference between an out and out striker who's out for blood, and a midfielder who has a strong shot? Just watch Duff on Saturday and you'll KNOW the difference. The guy was able to get around all of his markers, but once he got the chance, he would (no pun intended) duff it. (Well okay, I sort of intended that pun. Wasn't it fabulous?) Most of his shots were with his weak right foot, a natural occurrence if you're put in a position that Damien was. I lay no blame on Duff whatsoever - and a LOT of blame on the gaffer for this one. As I said in the preview, two other options who would have performed better in that role would have been Charles N'Zogbia and James Milner. I know that Roeder chose Duff for his size. But both of those guys know how to get in front of goal and SHOOT the ball to score goals.
D) And this is sort of a tangential thing, because it didn't really cause us to lose the game, but it DID illustrate Glenn's poor decision making, as if attempting to drive the steak FURTHER into my heart. His substitution in the 83rd minute of Milner for Solano. 1) We're dominating the game. Change the lineup to a 4-3-3 and put Milner up front. We need goals. Solano had been doing a fine job of getting crosses in but was, in fact, winded at that stage of the game. But substituting a wing for another wing THAT LATE in the game isn't going to accomplish anything. Milner had no impact on the game once he got in. He only had a few touches, and barely got warmed up. He should have brought in Milner in the 70th minute, moved Duff back to left wing with Parker and in the middle and Solano on the right. Take out Butt, and play Rossi at the top of the striking triangle with N'Zogbia and Milner on the sides. That would have been something and I'm sure would have been more effective.
Now, I can already hear all the critics of the international footballing blog-sphere ((namely RAY WRIGLEY)(HA!)) start to get all hot and bothered, saying things like "Monday evening gaffer!" And "Sure, it's easy to say in YOUR position." Well, for them, I'd like to now make a personal announcement. Eghhhgghhem. (Sorry I had something stuck in there)
This season, I will officially begin training to obtain my first official coaching license, better known as "The Badges." There are five steps to this process, and it will be a long journey ahead if I ever want to manage my beloved Newcastle United Football Club. But beginning soon, I will be undertaking (technically) the same process as SIR ALAN SHEARER, and obtaining the required licensure to be a legitimate football manager. (Note: The infinitely wise Glenn Roeder does NOT posess the usually-required licenses, and he has obtained his post by extenuating circumstances, which I happen to agree with and support, in his case. Just wanted to put that out there, though.) So you can count on the fact that before you know it, I'll be climbing the ranks to become a big time football gaffer.
posted by darkred at 2:30 PM
1 Comments:
I hope you manage the FC UNITED! they rule!!
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