Premiership Wrap

Round 21 in the Premiership was a bit of a strange one. Two games were cancelled, and Newcastle didn't lose. I know - strange.....
The weather was quite cold and dangerous in parts of the country, which caused many smaller clubs some serious headaches, mainly with frozen pitches. But the games that did go on were not without some serious drama.
First, before any kickoffs even occured, Rafa Benitez came out with a pretty surprising tirade against Sir Alex Ferguson of Man United. Not surprising based on what he said, since everything he said was pure fact and very well known by everyone in the league. But it was quite surprising that anyone actually have the gawl to say an unkind word against the Patron Saint Sir Alex, who, if it were up to the British media, would be immediately crowned king and Savior, and a new "Alexian Church" would be started where instead of stale bread for a host, we'd nibble off used pieces of Sir Alex's gum, and instead of a cross or star of david, we'd all worship a photograph of one of Ferguson's famous geriatric goal celebrations.
Rafa Benitez went down a pre-written list and stated all the media outbursts by Ferguson, and the FA's response (or, lack thereof). He compared that to other managers' outbursts, and the following fury which was unleashed upon them by the FA. Basically proving, fairly simply, how biased the FA are towards the biggest of the clubs. Now myself being a supporter of a team much, much further down the table, I can see some incredible hypocracy with this outburst, since Rafa and his players have gotten off the hook on many instances as well - case in point, Saint Steven Gerrard being arrested by Mersyside police for a barfight - almost the same as Joey Barton's charge. Now, Barton, being a Newcastle player gets put in headlines every day for the next week or two, and with Gerrard - POOF! A day after his arrest, it's completely disappeared from the headlines, and lips, of any media outlets. Let's talk about bias, Rafa.
Now to the football.
Newcastle were lucky to get a point at home against fellow struggler West Ham. Recent reports suggest that roughly half our team is looking to move to a better club, with Michael Owen having already reportedly agreeing to terms with Man City for a summer move, N'Zogbia opening his huge, annoying mouth again, stating that while his agent hasn't actually spoken with anybody yet, he'd looooove to go to Arsenal, and Given being one foot out the door, also to Man City. Anyway, Owen is still here, and he did his job well, putting away a nice goal to give us the lead. Our defense couldn't handle Bellamy all day (I never realized just how quick that guy was until Saturday) and I wasn't surprised at all to see him equalize quickly. In the second half, Seb Bassong fouled a player in the box, and we were lucky that it wasn't called for a penalty. Besides this play, he was MONEY all day, as he has been all season.
Their second goal, though, was truly horrific. Culminating a spell of 20 minutes of just about the worst football I've seen by any team this year, we gave Carlton Cole about 45 seconds to receive the ball at his feet, put a few moves on a few players, bend down, tie his shoes, give himself a good old spitshine, play a quick game of Go Fish with Scott Parker and Lucas Neill, and cooly put away the go-ahead goal. Shay Given, at that point, held up a sign saying "Man City or Bust."
But with just over 10 minutes to play, we were threatening time after time. Unfortunately all of our crosses were easily cleared before they could cause any trouble.....until the young'n Andy Carroll, sporting a classy new cornroll infested hairdo finally put his height to good use and powerfully shot home a header to tie the game up. It ended that way, but we were REALLY lucky to escape with a point, because the way I see it, we are a team in crisis, and I'm really concerned for the rest of the season.
In contrast, today's match between Man United and Chelsea displayed football at its finest - as it usually does. Watching the Newcastle match contrasted with the Man U match today, it was like watching two different leagues. Man U ran out deserving 3-0 victors, and Liverpool can now officially begin shaking in their boots, because with two games in hand, and only sitting 5 points behind them, Manchester look to really be hitting their stride now. Their youngsters put in good performance after good performance, with Johnny Evans coming through today INCREDIBLY strong, after Rio was a late scratch after waking up with a bad back. He, Raphael, Nani, Anderson, Possebon, and Danny Welbeck are all going to be the stars of about 6 years from now, and Man U show no signs of letting up. That was the most clear difference today - Manchester looked full of spring and energy, and they completely ran past and confused Chelsea. It was a demolition - and Big Phil was correct when he said that if his team continues to play like this, they'll quickly be removed from the title race.
Good thing Newcastle doesn't have to worry about that.

2008....AF&F style.

Thanks to Brett's great suggestion to do a "year in review" post, I'm doing a "year in review" post.
If you look back on 2008 with that 20/20 vision everybody always talks about, one word sticks out in your head: "Shite." I mean, barring Obama's wonderfully emotional and uplifting election, some great individual holiday/family/personal moments, some good food, and an occasional (and I mean REALLY occasional) Newcastle victory, 2008 was littered with economic crises, joblessness, wars wars wars, bad baseball, bad football, and even bad American football.

I'd have to say my favorite moment of the year was, of course, the moment when CCN predicted Obama's victory on the big screen at Grant Park, and I let out of surge of joy and excitement with all my friends there that night. From that point on through the rest of the night it felt like we were all together, on one team. Walking back home on Michigan Avenue, all was right with the world. People singing and dancing in the streets, not a single frown on a face as far as you looked, and somehow, we would all come out of this mess that the GOP had put us through for the past 8 years.
Some other highlights were: Of course, our trip to Japan, Christmas with my little nephew and some great food prepared by my Mom, the day Keegan was announced to take over NUFC's reigns, our emphatic victory over Spurs last season at White Heart Lane, our trip to Via Osteria, and another trip we took to a little restaurant called Bistro Campagne in Chicago, which I did not document on this site.
The lowlights were: definitely the day that many of my friends and coworkers got laid off at the firm, and it sunk in REAL QUICK how tough the next year or so is going to be, if we're lucky enough to stay employed for the next year, and the day that King Kev left Newcastle. I like to keep this place a happy one, so I won't get too into the downers of 2008.

So, it certainly was a tough one to get through, especially the last few months. But look - we're all here. We've made it. Let's get our chins up off the dirt, and keep walking forward. Because at the end of the day, as long as there is still architecture to enjoy, football to watch, and good food to stuff your face with, the world is still worth hanging out in.

Gotta love the holidays.

Why must I keep writing about my teams losing?

The Cubs choke in the playoffs. Newcastle are just awful, and inconsistent. The Bears, justly so, choked on the last week of the season to NOT get into the playoffs. Where shall I begin on the ever so easy criticism of any of my favorite sports franchises?

First, Newcastle. Mike Ashley has decided that - hey - since the market is junky and since my team has won a game or two, I don't feel like selling any more. Maybe next week though. Stay tuned! Oh boy, Newcastle is such a caaraaaazy place - these Geordies are gonna LOVE me when I tell 'em the good ol news!! Uh - sorry Mike. As this week has shown we are nowhere NEAR being able to compete for European spots. We beat Tottenham at the last breath, which we all knew we would do (we somehow OWN Spurs), and that got us all in a hot mess. But then we go on to lose to Wigan on Boxing Day (even though it truly was down to some awful decisions by the ref) and then get ABSOLUTELY SPANKED by Liverpool at home. This match was just pitiful. It shows the gap in teams within the Premiership. Similar to the Bears, we do not deserve anything from this season, if anything, we deserve to go down so that the board will be forced to basically declare bankruptcy and start again. It's that bad. We're paper thin, our defense is an absolute JOKE (especially when Steven Taylor shows his face around the pitch) our midfield can NOT provide decent service to our strikers, who, by the way, will pretty much all be on the way out either in January or this summer. So we'll be left with a carcus of a squad anyway - might as well do it in the Championship.

The Bears, who truthfully were awful all season long, didn't make the playoffs, even though all they had to do was WIN against the TEXANS today, based on some other results going our way, and we could have gotten in.

But think about how poor this team is.

Lovie Smith clearly doesn't know how to emotionally prepare a team for a big game. The defense has been shite ever since Rivera left, and how DARE any NFL franchise to hire an ex-Illini coach to ANY position on the coaching staff.

The defense is the most overpaid group of players assembled in the league. Time after time after time today, they blew their coverage, didn't get adequate pressure on the qb, left GAPING holes all over the field, whether it be running or passing, made stupid penalties at inoportune times, etc etc.

The offense is run by Kyle Orton, who literally might not get a starting job on ANY other NFL team, and for some reason, we haven't gone after a QB for a few drafts now. Or free agents. Or trades. We seem to be happy watching the little bitch fight that is the annual Orton-Grossman "QB Controversy." Our wide receivers are awful. Both tight ends are better than any of our receivers. Devin Hester is an absolutely spoiled little brat who's fast with ZERO hands. He's a terrible receiver, and he didn't return a single punt this entire season. So.....what's the benefit of having him on offense -- I mean -- our team, again??? Matt Forte is clearly the best part of our offense, and he's a frigging rookie - we didn't even expect anything out of him this season, and he came on and blew it up. So good for him - but why do I see Adrian Peterson out there so much in clutch situations when Forte is the only opportunity we have of producing?

Special teams have been phenomenal all season, especially the punter and kicker. But when we needed an on-sides kick today to give us a chance, Gould put forth the most pathetic attempt I've ever seen. It's clear we hadn't practiced that - and if we had, good thing we wasted all that time, because it was certainly a waste.

Oh well, at least now I get another 5 months of watching Newcastle embarrass themselves, watching the Bulls embarrass themselves, and soon enough, I'll get to watch the Cubs embarrass themselves too. Go Blackhawks, I guess.

What on Earth is going ON?!

So, somebody stop me before I get carried away here, but have Newcastle actually turned a mini-corner, here? This weekend we took on Portsmouth away. Portsmouth - not the toughest team in the Prem since 'Arry left for Spurs, but the quality is obviously there. And we truly crushed them. 3-0, all goals coming in the second half. Their all-star strike force was left goalless by a new, gelled defensive four (Beye - Curlycini - Bassong - Enrique), our midfield showed calm, patience and intelligence to control the game away from home, and our strike force showed that the Owen/Martins front line can most certainly work.

Take a look at our recent matches:

11/3: 2-0 win vs. Villa

11/9: 2-1 loss at Fulham

11/15: 2-2 draw vs. Wigan

11/22: 0-0 at Chelsea

11/29: 0-0 at Middlesboro

12/6: 2-2 vs. Stoke

12/14: 3-0 win at Portsmouth

And a recap:

11/3, we CRUSHED Villa, now a top-4 side.

11/9 was the match that Cacapa lost for us, where our team played quite well, and he was to blame for both goals. We haven't seen a bit of him since that horrific effort.

11/15 we had WON, but Bramble saved a point for them on THE LAST PLAY.

11/22 was a solid away clean sheet against a top-4 side

11/29 was another solid away clean sheet at our rival's stadium

12/6 we were 2-0 up and playing well, and SOMEHOW gave it away. After this match, I said we were going down.

12/14 (today) we truly deserved 3 points away from home.

Now that's 3 clean sheets out of our last 4 matches, 10 points from our last 7 matches, and some VERY good performances all around. In the Stoke match, we were up by 2 with a clean sheet, until Kinnear switched up our back four, which was playing so well. He brought Steven Taylor on, and we lost the lead. Today, there was not a sign of Steven Taylor, and the clean sheet was kept. I think JFK has learned from his mistake with Stoke, and he'll be playing it safe at the back for a while.

Now we've got Tottenham at home, Wigan away, and Liverpool at home to round out 2008. We have a VERY strong record against Tottenham, so if we don't get a win it will be a disappointment. Wigan away might be tough (because I really like what Steve Bruce has done with the club and wish he would manage Newcastle!) but we should still get 1 or 3 points if we play up to our ability, and then Liverpool at home. Can't see 3 from that, but should be able to secure a draw. That's either 5 or 7 points. If we get 5, it will surely put us in a strong, mid-table position going into 2009, and we will be able to try shooting for a spot in Europe, rather than trying to avoid relegation. It's a massively exiting table right now if you look at it. We're sitting 14th at the moment, only 1 point away from the relegation zone, and only 4 points away from 8th spot!! And it's almost Christmas! So, anything can still happen, and even though I had all but given up hope last week, with every quality performance that we put in, the closer I will be to saying "Intertoto Cup- Here we come!" But not yet.

Turning a Corner? Doubt it...

The feeling must be bittersweet for all of us Newcastle fans today...While we can take a good amount of heart knowing that we well and truly stuffed an almost full and certainly stronger Chelsea squad at their home field, we also found out that the sale of our club won't happen until after Christmas.

The match was a classic one - we were certainly played off the pitch by a stellar Chelsea club, who were oozing quality with every move forward. Great buildup in the midfield, easy and solid defensive stops, a confident goal keeper. The only thing they couldn't do was score - which is surprising, knowing our defense. But as I always knew, Sebastian Bassong was IMMENSE at the back - FAR better than Steven Taylor has ever been. He was a great partner of Coloccini, and with Beye, they made 3 wonderful defensemen. Jose Enrique, on the other hand, was slow, scared, and immature most of the game, and he must be replaced. He did make a few nice defensive stops, but as soon as he gained control of the ball, he IMMEDIATELY gave it away. Butt was also strong in defense, but as always, horrible on the ball. The rest of the midfield played very intelligently, and did the best they could, but were simply outmatched by Chelsea. But as a squad, we showed we could play as a unit, play with heart, and battle for a very hard-fought draw, which will satisfy all.

Then, later in the afternoon, the news came that Joe Kinnear had been told he will be the manager for another month, meaning we're not close to a sale. This can't be a surprise for anyone, and in certain ways, I'm incredibly comfortable with Crazy Joe. He's a no-nonsense manager, which is something that we DESPERATELY need right now. After the emotional antics of King Kev, and all this rubbish talk about Shearer coming on to manage us (heaven forbid!!), what Newcastle need is a professional, stern, intelligent manager who will lead us in a NEW direction. No more of these comemorative picks from days gone by. Joe Kinnear has been a shot of what we need going forward. He isn't intelligent enough, but he's a start - and he's a FANTASTIC short-term guy, always telling the truth, being the microphone to the fans that Mike Ashley has never been.

But we do, indeed, need Ashley to sell this club. We need stability, first and foremost (how many times have I said that) and with Ashley around, it will never come. We need a solid base. We need Dennis Wise to leave. We need the manager to have control of the club - from the tactics to the purchases and sales. The January transfer window is coming up fast, and there will certainly be some movement of current Newcastle players OUT of the club - I mean - who on Earth would want to play for a club like this? Let's just hope Kinnear can convince Ashley to get some new faces IN as well - so we can stay up in the Premiership after this horrendous season is once and for all behind us!!

But for the next few weeks, we've got a great, memorable win to build on, we've got a few manageable games coming up, and if we can win or draw a few in a row, I think we'll be in a much more stable position by Christmas. It's REALLY congested down at the bottom at the moment, and I believe that the next few weeks will really set the table and define who will be battling relegation this season. If we can keep our heads above water now, it'll help us a LOT down the stretch.

**Update**

I just watched the highlights of the Manchester City v Arsenal match. If anybody hasn't seen this game, please try to catch some highlights. I predict this match will be the beginning of the long, slow, inevitable culture shift which will bring Manchester City into the upper echelon of the Premiership. Man City looked so good, and hungry, and frightening, and talented, and Arsenal looked so weak, and pathetic, and confused, and young and immature....with the obvious glaring difference in funds for the two clubs (Man City becoming instantly more wealthy than many countries in this world, and Arsenal consistently having to rely on Wenger's talent to find young, unknown stars of the future) there will be a change in heirarchy in the next few years...and I'm afraid for Arsenal they won't be on the benefitting side. As much as I love the football they try to produce, they're being picked apart game after game, and the other clubs are rapidly catching up to them. Keep your eyes on Man City because they are one exciting team to watch. They played real football against Arsenal - the way Arsenal once thought they could beat all others. And it was a sight to see.

Topic Merry-go-round

1) Xefirotarch. My thesis instructor, Hernan Diaz Alonso, recently published a monograph of all of his work, a good portion of which was designed with the help of myself and Mrs. Architecturefootballandfood. The book is called Xefirotarch: Excessive. A few things about Hernan's work - it's as much art as it is architecture - only a couple pieces have actually been built, and those were gallery installations rather than actual inhabitable buildings. So it is a bit hard to justify his existance as what has always been known as "architect." But this flaw is just one in a grand series which Hernan holds, all of which form the pieces making up his masterful mystique. Just like the vampire and horror films he aims his buildings to aspire to, Hernan has built his career on legend and potential.

Back to the book itself - it's a beautiful piece - big, colorful illustrations, great design, great packaging, the typical intriguing narratives by Benjamin Bratton, my old instructor and Hernan's right hand man. For any art/architecture fringe fan, it's a must have, and it looks crazy gorgeous on your shelf.

2) When am I just going to give up on Newcastle? I know it'll never happen. Because if I would have done it, I would have done it by now.

Not only do we draw to Wigan. Not only do we draw to Wigan at home. Not only do we draw to Wigan at home on an 89th minute goal. Not only do we draw to Wigan at home on an 89th minute goal, just after we had taken the lead with an 87th minute goal. But we lose to wigan at home on an 89th minute goal BY TITUS BRAMBLE, just after we had taken the lead with an 87th minute goal.

For those of you who aren't keeping up, Titus Bramble was once a Newcastle player, and will forever be known for some of the most hilariously awful defensive plays ever committed by a Premiership player, while he was a Newcastle player. We, thankfully, got rid of him when Big Fat Sam came to town last season, but since then, he CONTINUES TO HAUNT US!!!!

It's a curse. I know it's a curse. Newcastle is cursed.

3) The Bears lost. As well. Again. All my teams are cursed.

4) Just thought I'd share some photos of my cats:

Back by Popular Demand....

Discussion about another Newcastle defeat!!

Enough of this enlightening, positive political banter. Who cares about socio-political victories whose effects will be heard and felt throughout the world for years to come? What's the USE in discussing recent events that our grandparents wouldn't have even DREAMED of only 30 years ago, but we're lucky enough to see and experience them in our relative youth??? Newcastle lost! Let's talk about that!!!

Well, okay.

Newcastle technically lost, but really, you could say that Claudio Cacapa lost. If he had not been on the pitch, if the Magpies fielded ten men to Fulham's eleven, we honestly, cross my heart, would have won that match. We outplayed them. We outpassed them. We outran them. We did everything right, except A) only scored once - should have had more and B) oh, those two silly little missteps from Cacapa, costing him and his teammates the GAME.

If anyone has forgotten, it was Claudio Cacapa who was absolutely, take-no-prisoners-style SMOKED last season by Benjani of Portsmouth, and whose smoking led to THREE goals in the first ELEVEN minutes of the match. We ended up losing that one 4-1, but more importantly, Big Fat Sam took Cacapa off the pitch after a measly 18 minutes, and Cacapa's confidence was forever GONE after that day. He's never looked a proper player after that, certainly not prepared or talented enough for the premiership.

So while we DID only score one goal, I am certain that had Steven Taylor been fit for this match, we would have EASILY won. The problem is, he wasn't - and we can't expect him to be fit for every match. So you've either got Cacapa, who is obvious garbage, or Seb Bassong, who's a FANTASTIC player, but has virtually no top-flight experience at Central Defender. I know the whole hindsight being 20/20 thing, but as soon as I saw Cacapa's name in that line up I said "Where's Bassong?" and that's the truth.

Anyway, Newcastle are back in the relegation zone, arguably where they belong. We're a pisser of a club, a club nobody wants to buy, for good reason, a club who's name now goes hand in hand with hilarity of the highest order. The only prospective buyers for Newcastle are American, and that's simply because A) they probably don't know what they're getting into and B) the dollar is quite strong now compared to a few months ago, and as a business decision, it's a steal. We are being reduced to WARES, and we're not even talking Nordstrom wares - we're talking Burlington Coat Factory. Newcastle are that single remaining DKNY Jacket that's gone from Showroom to department store to outlet mall to liquidation sale bin to Burlington Coat Factory, and even NOW, nobody will touch this accoutrement. It started its life as a proud, respectable $249.99 list, and now soccer moms won't even touch it for a limp $39.99. Such is Newcastle.

Crazy Joe Kinnear

I mean, what does it really matter who we chose as interim manager? If we're to believe the rumours and local papers, King Kev might be back as manager in the next month or so - maybe even with a 10% stake in the club. And whomever stepped in, it was always obvious that he would be stomped on by the London Press (God bless'em). I was under no impression that we'd ever get anybody of any quality - I mean, who on earth would perform the footballing equivalent of the following situation:

-April 15, 1912; 9AM: Man picks up paper, reads "TITANIC HAS SUNK!"

-April 15, 1912; 12PM: Man takes train to British coast

-April 15, 1912; 5PM: Man arrives at British coast, inflates raft, begins slow trek West, towards America

-July 22, 1912; 8AM: Man arrives at reckage of Titanic, climbs aboard empty ship and into captain's room, where he attempts to revive engines

-July 22, 1912; 9AM: Man dies.

[What do you mean, "forced analogy?" I don't see any forced analogy.]

But then Kinnear steps in. I'd never heard of this guy prior to his appointment - but I must say, he's been a fantastic addition. Just a load of common sense, good times and swear words. What more could you ask for? Jose Mourihno, kindly step aside. We have a new definition of "special one."

He's been slowly taking all the pressure off the players buy spitting out any crap that comes into his head.

-How long ya here for, Joe?

-"4 games. No, 6. No, until the end of October. But I'm still serving a touchline ban. No, I'm not."

-After a fairly typical mis-reporting by the London press:

-Kinnear walks into the room with reporters:

-Kinnear: "Which one is Simon Bird?" - he is the Daily Mirror’s north-east football writer
-Bird: "Me."
-Kinnear: "You’re a c**t."
-Bird: "Thank you."

This guy just gets better and better.

Please, someone give me a bridge to nowhere...at least then we'll have a direction.

With Newcastle quickly becoming one of my least favorite professional sports teams, due to the purely insepid behavior of each of its various divisions (owner, board, players, even supporters at times)(example, example, shocking example), it was really refreshing to turn on the last twenty minutes of the Chelsea-Man Utd match this evening. This is football the way it should be played and every once in a while I am reminded of the fact that the club I support is really only there to either A) act as a pawn in the much larger drama played out by the top clubs or B) make me and every Geordie miserable as retribution for our various sins or character flaws. It's a punishment sent to me by a higher being.

Watching Solomon Kalou come on as a substitute in the 75th minute then put away the tying goal in the 80th made me remember the good ol' days, just less than a month ago, when we were scoffing at even the THOUGHT of buying a player like Kalou - he's on Chelsea's BENCH for Christ sake - why would he be good enough for KING KEV'S ARMY??? Now there's no King Kev, no army to speak of, and Kalou would easily be the best player on our half of the ball.

It's distressing for me, watching a club full of very highly paid grown adults, play a game that we all love, but playing it with such disdain for the current situation and such lack of spirit. I most certainly feel for the players and I fully understand that crap that happens off the field can quickly manifest into on-field crap. But times like these are when heroes are born. If King Kev was the leader, and he left, and the interim manager doesn't want to grow a pair and fill in for the emotional beacon of the team, then one of these players (ehem - Captain Michael Owen?) HAS to step up to lead.

It's just sad seeing such a great club become such a public announcement for how NOT act as a football club - at EVERY level.

The King is dead; Long live the King.

Talk about gloom.

In my years as a Newcastle supporter, very few of them have been positive. After following the Magpies for a while, you quickly realize that there aren't going to be too many good days, and when they come along, you've got to relish them. Most of your days will be spent head in hands, looking at your empty pint glass, wondering what happened between minute 3, when everything seemed like you still had a chance at this match, and minute 93. It's rough going, generally. But these last couple days have gone far, far beyond the typical depression that sweeps over you like the thick, cumulonimbous that is commonplace in the weather pattern that is NUFC. This was "Hurricane Kev," as it were.

A couple weeks ago, we were in season 2 of King Kev's reign. We had 4 points from our first two games, we were in fifth spot in the league, the transfer window was still open, we had a bililonaire English owner who, while at times a bit frugal, really seemed to care about the club he was funding. We had made a couple REALLY exciting aquisitions in Jonas and Curly-ccini, and there was nowhere to go but UP. The national media was even finally giving Newcastle and King Kev some respect after putting in a really fine performance at Old Trafford. Clear skies.

Now fast-forward to Thursday of this week. We get pounded at Arsenal. Kev gets in a petulent screaming match with that little brat Nasri. Transfer deadline day comes and goes with two signings - neither of which make the hairs on your arm stand up - let alone being the "Wow" signing that Ashley promised. You see Manchester City get the huge monetary backing that we all thought we would get when Ashley took charge. King Kev threatens to leave, doesn't, stays holed up in some hotel in Manchester, nobody's talking on either end, so you have to settle for news reports that who knows if they're right, and finally, King Kev, the saviour and only shining light in the future on Newcastle United, resigns. This isn't just a bad day - this is a bad couple weeks, and if you really think about it, this means that nothing really GOOD can happen for the next 2-3 YEARS. SERIOUSLY. I'm not overreacting here. King Kev leaves. Dennis Wise, who the fans HATE, stays. Mike Ashley stays, who just sided with Wise over Kev. Derrick Lambias, the managing director, stays - even though he looks like a tool and nobody knows really WHAT he does - but there are rumours that HES the one who fired Kev in the first place. The REASON Kev quit is because Ashley put the ENTIRE team up for sale on the last day of the transfer window: so you tell me - what PLAYER is going to take to the field this season with an undying passion for quality and victory? What player wouldn't want to get shipped out of there ASAP? For that, what MANAGER would like to come into this laughing stock of a club, and this revolving door of a position? Think about it - whoever comes in knows that A)the fans - the most powerful fans in the UK - will be fervently against them. B)They don't have power to buy or sell players - the reason why KK left in the first place. C)They will probably only last a few months before Ashley gets bored and sacks their butt and D) They will get to join a long line of laughable men who have come and gone from this position without having won anything or succeeded in any way.

Sounds like a great ad for the position, huh?

I don't know what to predict exactly, but the atmosphere at the matches is sure to be ugly at best, and I'm guessing the players won't be playing with any inspiration, let alone with the agressive, passionate attacking style that KK was beginning to get the to play with. The wind will have been taken out of all of them, and I'm not really looking forward to the rest of the season. I mean, whatever manager we do get, it will not be an improvement on the King. I guess this was inevitable - but nobody imagined it would come just 8 months into his reign. There's no interest there for any of the Geordies, and now, instead of one massive love fest towards Newcastle that we had a couple weeks ago, it's nothing less than a violent civil war between owners and fans, and the worst part is that the players, God bless them, will be the ones stuck in the middle.

Now, being the forever optimist that I am, I will leave my readers with one little tiny light at the end of this black-hole of a tunnel. There are very dim rumblings that the middle-eastern billionaire who was interested in buying our club out a few weeks ago may revive his interest after seeing the backlash that the fans gave towards Mike Ashley. If this were to happen, there are rumours that he would bring back King Kev, supply him with a might war-chest to buy players, and, of course, give him the power and responsibility that should intrinsically come with the title of "Manager." But all this is VERY speculative. It is, however, currently, the only way that we could all go back to being truly happy again. :(

The Unfortunate Current State of our Beloved Club

At the moment, I'm still attempting collect my thoughts on this saga that is Kevin Keegan and Newcastle United.

Here is what I know:

1) Kevin Keegan is the most successful manager (not in terms of numbers, but in terms of my own knowledge and witness of the football I've seen under numerous Newcastle United managers) of the club since Sir Bobby Robson.

2) KK plays the type of football that makes me want to watch it - the type that inspires and invigorates. He gets the fans excited about the club and the beautiful game, whether they win that week or not.

3) Mike Ashley is a business man. He's in this to make money. This is not something I can argue against. I believe all the owners are in it to make money. The route they choose to make that money, however, is the variable. Some managers, like Roman Abramovich, choose to invest big in order to win big, thereby trumping their massive input with an even more massive output. Other managers, such as I believe Ashley to be doing with Newcastle, play small-ball. He's trying to buy cheap, foreign, inexpensive talent to prove that they've got the goods for the Premiership and hopefully sell them for big money in a couple years. This may work to a certain extent - but its essentially building a bridge out of toothpicks. It's like saving your pennies in a glass jar so that someday you might be able to buy the Taj mah Hal. It's clear that he's not in this to become the greatest football power in the history of the game, he's in it for five years to make 100 million pounds and buy himself a lifetime supply of beer.

Here's what I don't know:

1) What - EXACTLY - is Dennis Wise's role in all this? Nobody likes this lad, including King Kev. It's clear that he's a little weasel who likes to disrupt things and ruffle feathers so that he can benefit personally. It's been rumoured that he's in charge of signing only YOUNG talent, as in NOT the first team. It's been rumoured that he's in MA's ear, running the club like a dark influence, just waiting to take over after he's waited long enough. It's been rumoured that HE was the man who put up THE ENTIRE SQUAD for sale, and almost sold Alan Smith, Joey Barton, and ST. MICHAEL OWEN, all behind Kev's back. This is disheartening for obvious reasons.

2) Why on God's earth did Ashley hire Keegan, a man who wears his heart on his sleeve and certainly has his own very solid opinions about the game, if he was intending on hiring a ridiculously complicated hierarchy of directors? It seems that Ashley didn't have confidence in his own chosen manager, so he filled in the anticipated gaps with micro-managed positions so that nobody would be overworked. When all this does is alienate people, especially the manager - a position which is supposed to be executive in everything related to the football - INCLUDING TRANSFERS.

What I believe happened (please don't go starting any rumours from this):

I think that Keegan has been slowly getting more and more upset at the appointment and continued reliance on Dennis Wise by Mike Ashley. Keegan came in and after getting acquainted with the squad (the first couple months of poor results in his tenure) has done ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong. He's re-energized the Geordies about their club, got the football to be really fast-paced and beautiful again, and has brought the club back on to the track towards greatness. And he and WE always thought that once the transfer window came, he'd really have the opportunity to begin to mould his squad. Well, that window came and he quickly realized that it wasn't his money OR choice of who we would sign. One of his most important duties as manager was ripped from him and given to that little weasel Dennis Wise. After expressing disappointment to the management and having numerous "crisis talks," Ashley promised Kev that he would give KK divine right on who we would sign and that he was, in fact, in charge of the direction of the club. But money was indeed tight, so he needed to create the funds for this - thus being a bit more lenient in terms of who left the club. There is an overall picture of where we needed to be, and 12M for James Milner could get us in that direction. So Kev swallowed his pride, took the money, only so that he could sign who he wanted in the next few days. Well, those days came and for some reason, he AGAIN wasn't given the power to do so. Dennis Wise (with help from Tony Jimenez) once again had the privilege to sign who he deemed good enough, and SELL who he deemed not good enough, without ANY input from King Kev. Suddenly, the saviour who brought back scintillating football back to St. James Park had become nothing more than a pawn, who was here only to satisfy the fans. So, he issued an ultimatum to Mike Ashley. Either things change and Wise leaves, or I do. Ashley probably said: Okay, get to steppin. The news broke, the inevitable riot act occurred, and Ashley, who had been living in his bubble the past 2 years was ASTOUNDED from the incredible level of support shown by the Geordie faithful for their fearless leader. Ashley withdrew his dismissal, but King Kev realized that the structure was obviously flawed and he wanted out. At this point, I think Kev is truly just getting his monetary ducks in a row so that he can get out without losing any money. Like I said, if I were KK, I'd probably do the same thing, and if he does choose to leave, I wish him the best.

It's a sad day here at the offices of Architecture, Football and Food. My owner has, once again, made a complete mockery of my club, just when I thought he was bringing it back to reality. My favorite manager who was Newcastle United through and through is on his way out, we've got a CRAZY thin squad who are going to be lucky to break into the top 10 and are actually going to struggle against The Unwashed (Sunderland) in the NorthEast Derby this season, and we've got a fan-base who, at its heart, doesn't know whether to show up for any more matches this season or any season after. A club who lives by its heart dies by its heart, and the light is growing dim.

GET IN!! Keegan not sacked YET!!!

Official Club Statement

...And it's gotten worse.

It is with a VERY heavy and incredibly overworked heart that I have to report that the Saviour, King Kevin Keegan looks to be no longer manager of Newcastle United Football Club. If this is true, no matter how it came about, no matter who is responsible, no matter what the conditions are for it, it is a cruel day for all NUFC supporters, and makes a further mockery of my beloved club. I can't say too much about it at the moment because no official news has broken yet. But after such a topsy-turvy, up and down close to the transfer window (which was - I have to say - quite underwhelming - but when looked at the transfer season as a whole - not too shabby in the slightest) this was the last thing I needed.
If King Kev goes, a party of my black and white heart will go with him, and I'm not sure how long it will take the club to stabilize itself. Aw, who am I kidding - Newcastle have NEVER been stable!! That's why we love them so much, isn't it?!

I'll keep my loyal readers posted.

To cheer up this incredibly depressing day, please visit this site and, if in Chicago, GO HERE!!
Scooter's Frozen Custard

Early Season Newcastle Rants and Raves.

The premiership season is now off and running, so prepare yourselves for more frequent football talk.

After three weeks, Newcastle are 1-1-1, giving them 4 points, and having very definite MIXED feelings about the upcoming season. While I'm very happy with our draw at Man Utd and our clean sheet win vs. Bolton, and the overall difficulty of the early season, which is now behind us. I am, however, a bit less thrilled at the manner in which we lost to Arsenal this past weekend, though, looking like the Newcastle of old: rushed, unorganized, and feeling lucky just to share the same pitch as the infinitely more deserving Gooners.

The off-field news has all been doom and gloom, as usual for the London press. According to them, Keegan is ready to quit, Ashley is ready to sell, Owen is ready to walk, and the sale of the under-performing and never-achieving-expectations James Milner is reason alone to shelve the entire season. (This kid is NEVER going to deserve his 12MILLION pound price tag- he runs like a horse and has a heart of gold, but he can NOT look up when he's dribbling and has a cross like a 4-yr-old girl. Just FORGET about him using his weaker left foot. Off with ya, Jimmy. Thanks for everything, but we've got more important things to worry about.)

The close of the summer transfer window is always a turbulent time at St. James Park, and this year is no different. This off season, Keegan has already done a fantastic Job. We made quite a bit of green on the sales of Emre, Rozenhal and Milner. After the purchases of Jonas Gutierrez (who's already become a fan favorite), Fabricio Coloccini (with some of the best hair since Keegan's playing days), Danny Guthrie (very young central midfielder who was supposed to be a squad player but easily walked onto our starting XI) and Sebastian Bassong (versatile defender who passed a trial before being signed) we're still actually 1M pounds in the BLACK. Now compare this to Roy Keane's INCREDIBLE panic spending (almost 40-million pounds in the red) at Sunderland, who now sit in the relegation zone (I know, still early days), and tell me King Kev has been out of the game for too long.

Just tonight, two new signings came through the door: Deportivo La Coruna striker, Xisco, and Valencia midfielder, Ignacio "Nacho" Gonzalez on loan. Depor's fans are GUTTED that we've taken Xisco from them, since Curly-ccini came from Depor this summer as well. Apparently, they were the two best players on the squad. Gonzalez is highly rated, but apparently couldn't get much playing time with David Silva ahead of him. So while I've heard glowing reviews, I'll have to wait to pass judgement on this one.

At least one more signing is rumoured to be on their way, and the Michael Owen contract saga is always an ongoing affair. These will be watched with very close eyes.

However, the other HUGE piece of NUFC transfer news is that Everton are rumoured to be ready to push through their 3million-pound bid for Alan Smith and all that's left is for him to agree personal terms. If this happens, it will certainly be one of the most efficient moves the club will have made all summer, because while we will be losing a net of 3m in transfer fees on him (brilliant Sam Allardyce bought him last season for 6m) his 60,000 pound/week salary will not be missed in the slightest. And maybe, just maybe, this surplus in wages can be reinvested into the club via Michael Owen's new contract.

Now, one final piece of recent news in Joey Barton's inclusion in the Arsenal game, and its odd effect on the conclusion of the match. I'll break it down quickly if some of you didn't see it(shame on you). Barton is a very bad boy. He's a jerk, actually - a true waste of human flesh. Just a true thug at his very best moments. He recently got out of jail for beating up a 16 year old kid outside of a McDonald's restaurant in Liverpool, and I was NOT happy when Keegan fought to keep him in the club. Ashley wanted to fire him on the spot, but Keegan insisted that he could really continue to help the club. I thought - this guy would be fired if he were in any other profession than football. I don't want to be associated with him, so I don't care how much he could help the club - he should be punished. But to be honest - since those initial emotions have subsided, I'm actually quietly excited about having Joey back in our squad, and here's why.

Yes, he's a horrible human being. Please forgive me in advance for overlooking this, because I'm really not. I know this - but I've gotten past that now, and I ask you to do the same. 1) He takes pressure off the rest of his team mates. The same as how some of the Bulls loved playing with Dennis Rodman. This guy takes all the bright camera lights on to him, and off of the rest of the team PURPOSELY, so all they need to think about is their sport. 2) He makes the OPPONENT constantly think about him when he's on the pitch. This weekend, you should have SEEN how he took young Samir Nasri out of his game. Barton came on, hearing the incredible boos swelling through the crowd and was just soaking it all in. He LOVED it - JUST LOVED IT. Then, at the first 50/50 ball, he lunged in BEFORE Nasri got there, and made a perfect challenge for the ball. He won the ball, and Nasri fell awkwardy after being well beaten in the challenge. But because he's Joey Barton, Nasri thought it was somehow dirty and illegal. So, the next time down the pitch, Nasri, like the sad, intimidated child that he is, cowardly stuck his foot out and blatantly tripped Barton from behind - in the rule book a straight red card. But apparently, none of the four referrees saw it (yeah right) and not even a foul was called. 3) He gives a "cutting edge" to Newcastle United. We've been in mid-table for a while, we haven't had a real character on the squad up until Jonas just joined, and having Joey around just makes things more interesting, and we automatically become a little more tough and physical as a team. I love that, and it makes for some really interesting football. And 4) HE'S ACTUALLY A GREAT CENTRAL MIDFIELDER. This is something that people seem to overlook because they're so much more interested in the drama that is Joey Barton. And of course, the London press would never actually care about football ability for a Newcastle player - they're only interested in headlines. He's got phenomenal pace and stamina, and he's a very creative player going forward - something we've been drastically needing since getting rid of Emre.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, that was nice. Thanks for reading my rant. I know it was a bit unorganized and flatlined, but it sure was therapeutic.

It's been a while

I have to stop sporadically falling off the face of the Blog-Earth like this.

You see....what had happened was......Mrs. Architecturefootballandfood's parents came in to town for about 17 days, and stayed in our second bedroom, which happens to be the same room my computer resides. Therefore, I had limited access to that room, especially at night, when I typically create these glorious posts. So I have to apologize - I did not get sufficient time to add new ones at appropriate times. But there will be a lot to cover....let's see what happened....

-Newcastle MATHEMATICALLY saved themselves from relegation

-Manchester United has tried increasingly hard to give the Premiership title away to Chelsea and now they're in a dead heat with the Red Devils relying on my beloved NUFC to pull out a result.

-CL finals are upon us, and the match is being held on my birthday this year - May 21

-I went to some fantastic restaurants, most of which I've been to before (Wildfire, Ai Sushi) but one new one (Alinea).


Monday, Newcastle take on Chelsea (at 10am on a Monday - come on!) and Chelsea haven't had all that much luck at Saint James Park over recent years. In fact - even TITUS SHAMBLES scored in the match against Chelsk a couple years ago - which shows just how much trouble they have there. If we win vs. Chelsea, the race is over and Manchester take the crown. If we tie, there's only the SLIGHTEST of chances for Chelsea to take it, and if we lose(heaven forbid for us all) it'll go neck and neck until the end. Watch this space.

With NUFC being mathematically safe from relegation, the supporters and club now look to moves we can make in the offseason to improve our massively underachieving club. The common thought is that we're pretty strong up front, we need some creativity and maybe a right winger in midfield, definitely a left back and most definitely a strong CB, and we're (as always) all set at keeper. There are rumbles we've already got a deal tied up for the up and down, unwanted Liverpool right back John Arne Riise. My personaly opinion is that, once again, we're going for someone who's past his prime, but truth be told, he's better than we've got now, so for 4 million pounds and 30,000 per week, it's not that bad a deal. I mean, he's only 27, so he's got a good 3 more years left in him. Other rumors include Gomis up front, Defensive midfielder Sessegnon from france, Darren Bent up front (no!), Eren Derdiyok from Sweden, Deco from Barcelona, and many, many others. Newcastle, being long-known overpayers, are typically linked with every available player out there, except for the really good ones, who only get linked with Man U and Arsenal. So I usually don't pay too much mind to these, but it's always exciting.

The CL finals are next Wednesday, between Manchester United and Chelsea. This is the first time in a long time (maybe ever??) that there are two English clubs in the final. It'll be held in Moscow. I am quite disappointed that two English clubs are in the final, not only because it'll be personally more boring since I watch these clubs all the time and I usually like watching CL football to see OTHER clubs stack up AGAINST English ones, but also because it shows the growing gulf between the English league and the rest of the world, while the English national team continues to struggle. While I'm happy that I get to watch the best league in the world every weekend, I wish it was more due to local English players rather than billionaire internationals (including far too many uneducated and laughable American owners) buying up all the talent throughout the world. But that's just me. Back to the game.
I believe on a neutral pitch, Manchester will Beat Chelsea around 8 times out of 10. They've got more fluidity, more natural talent, and don't need as many tactics to win. Chelsea DO, in fact, need brilliant tactics to win, and lucky for them, I believe they have them. Don't let that sound like they haven't got the talent though, because Drogba, Lampard, Terry et all are some of the best in the business. But at this moment in the history of football, no one on the planet - and I'm not exagerating - no one on THE PLANET can touch Christiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro. He, combined with Nani, Anderson, and the rest can create the type of football that fans like myself only dream that every club could produce. So if you have any chance to watch this match on the 21st of May - you might want to pay attention.

Restaurant reviews are to follow shortly.