Ill Doctrine

I'm not sure if I've ever given a link to this v-log or not yet...I think I may already have...but Ill Doctrine is PHENOMENAL. I got the link from my bud Amanda Jo and it QUICKLY went up on my favorites list (which, by the way, has gotten exponentially longer since election season began). Now, I know this isn't a politics blog and I don't want to turn it into one. It'll all be over soon, I promise. But this is just too good.

Below, I transcribed his latest entry in case you all are at work and can't view video or don't have sound cards or something. He perfectly synthesizes my thoughts on how absurd this whole fear of "elitists" our country has when picking its president. Hello - umm....we're basically interviewing people for the most important job in the entire world. You don't want someone who is elite? Who DO you want? Anyway, the following is in no way my creation - although I wish it was. It's taken directly from illdoctrine.com, so please visit the website and don't sue me for plagiarism.

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okay people people people the economy -= do you understand whats going on right now? Seriously do you get it? Are you even paying attention? Do you understand what's happening? Because I...don't. At all.

I don't know what any of this stuff means, man. I don't understand economics. Apparently the whole world is gonna end unless I give all my money to that guy Paul something from the Smothers Brothers show? I mean, really? Are you su- I mean, I dont know.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I pay attention. I read Paul Krugman just like everybody else and understand about 2/3 of it. But do I ever feel like I fully grasp WHY the economy is doing what it's doing? Hell no. Do you? I'm not convinced that anybody does. And that's why this situation is so scary, because I don't really know what to believe, and I don't know HOW to know who I can trust. I feel like we're in an episode of ER where the government comes bursting in the room, like:

-"Okay, we need 700 CC's of everybody's money, stat!"

-"Well, okay...how does the plan work?"

-"No, no, there's no time to talk...STAT!"

-"Well, is there going to be some oversite? How..."

-"No, no...stat! Just give it to me, stat!"

-"Are you even a doctor?"

-"Stat! Don't you know what stat means?"

-"But I don't know what 'stat' means. I don't know for sure what any of these stats mean. And you are asking me to have a whole lot of faith that you know better than I do, even though you didn't see this coming, and you can't really explain it to me."

...And that is the dilemma facing every American right now. After so many years of being guided by our anti-intellectualism and voting against anybody who acts like he thinks he's smart, suddenly our entire future hinges on having faith that these guys are smarter than we are. This is not a good feeling. So, my fellow Americans, I'm here to ask you - that feeling you're feeling right now, hoping and praying that your leaders are actually smarter than you, please remember that feeling when you go in the voting booth. Because just this once, I think we really need to vote for the annoying smart guy.

I know how you feel, he's always got this smug look on his face and it brings up all our esteem issues from high school, but we need him right now. As soon as this crisis is over we can give him a wedgie and lock him inside his locker. But this is his moment.

I know this is not an easy choice, but this moment in history is a time for courage, it is a time for change, it is time for a nerd we can believe in! And I know we can make this happen.

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Please, someone give me a bridge to nowhere...at least then we'll have a direction.

With Newcastle quickly becoming one of my least favorite professional sports teams, due to the purely insepid behavior of each of its various divisions (owner, board, players, even supporters at times)(example, example, shocking example), it was really refreshing to turn on the last twenty minutes of the Chelsea-Man Utd match this evening. This is football the way it should be played and every once in a while I am reminded of the fact that the club I support is really only there to either A) act as a pawn in the much larger drama played out by the top clubs or B) make me and every Geordie miserable as retribution for our various sins or character flaws. It's a punishment sent to me by a higher being.

Watching Solomon Kalou come on as a substitute in the 75th minute then put away the tying goal in the 80th made me remember the good ol' days, just less than a month ago, when we were scoffing at even the THOUGHT of buying a player like Kalou - he's on Chelsea's BENCH for Christ sake - why would he be good enough for KING KEV'S ARMY??? Now there's no King Kev, no army to speak of, and Kalou would easily be the best player on our half of the ball.

It's distressing for me, watching a club full of very highly paid grown adults, play a game that we all love, but playing it with such disdain for the current situation and such lack of spirit. I most certainly feel for the players and I fully understand that crap that happens off the field can quickly manifest into on-field crap. But times like these are when heroes are born. If King Kev was the leader, and he left, and the interim manager doesn't want to grow a pair and fill in for the emotional beacon of the team, then one of these players (ehem - Captain Michael Owen?) HAS to step up to lead.

It's just sad seeing such a great club become such a public announcement for how NOT act as a football club - at EVERY level.

Maps and Graphs

I came across this link the other day:

Strange Maps Blog

This is something that is right up my alley. Some of these graphics are incredibly thoughtful, informative and beautiful. Some of them are so calculated and forced, they not only show information in a new and interesting way, but they also show how difficult map making and analysis of information can be. Diagramming is the perfect blend of information and aesthetics and very few people can do it well. Mrs. Architecturefootballandfood is particularly versed at diagramming, and she basically did an entire thesis on it at SCI-Arc.

Obviously the most famous information designer, at least I would say, is Edward Tufte.
This guy is truly brilliant. In many ways, he made diagramming cool. Although probably the coolest thing about him is how hard he's worked, virtually by himself, to put himself where he is. He began as a statistics professor at Princeton, and after collecting material for his lectures, he put out his first book, The Visual Displaly of Quantitative Information out of his garage, completely self-funded AND self produced. He's always been a staunch critic of Powerpoint, which I agree with 99% of the time (the one exception ).

But something about this blog's respect for both sides of the quality spectrum is what gives it its charm. I wish I knew of more websites like this - virtually no immediately usable information on it - but nothing that you come across will be boring. It all not only makes you laugh and think, but typically it looks great - or at least so horrible it's great.

Post 100!

"It's been a bit too long since I've written"...and thus, with those words, probably the most likely words that I've started out with throughout the majority of my first 100 posts, will also start post #100! Man a lot has happened since I started writing the Architecture and Football (original name) blog....the obligatory first 'real' post, my first architecture school jury inclusion, we hit water, I took a serious look at my two favorite cities, we lost another competition, Roeder got the sack, we did some life changin', we went to Japan, Big Sam got the sack, King Kev got the job, I got a new keyboard, Brett went on vacation, Newcastle almost got relegated, I started writing about food (and drink), Newcastle DIDN'T get relegated, we ate well and I got scared, and, last, and certainly least, King Kev left Newcastle.

That's just a sampler platter of some of the witty, awe-inspiring, death defying bloggery that's happened over the past couple years on this glorious, glorious, glorious, glorious blog.

It has been glorious.

That's since I started the blog. But since I last wrote....not much has been all that glorious. King Kev is still gone. Newcastle lost to Hull. Hull. The fervent Geordie supporters displayed the passion that's written their page in football lore, and protested like they've never protested before, and for once, they got exactly what they wanted and fatty-boom-blatty Mike Ashley has decided to put the club up for sale. Unfortunately, seeing the mess that the fans are capable of putting an owner in, no other billionaires have the sudden urge to jump into our electric eel tank of a club, big surprise as that may be. So now, we've got no coach, no owner, no passion, our players are biting each others heads off - and oh yeah, did I mention we lost to Hull?

Enough about Football. Jeez, 4/5 of this blog has been about footy. On to a bit of food.

Let me let all you readers in on a couple of culinary secrets that I've picked up over the years. I don't often do this, but I'm going to give you clues into the good life without a fair and balanced exchange of goods OR services. I'm just going to straight up throw it at you. Two of em. Pen and paper ready.

1) Add grapes to salad. Green ones. Serious - then, use a vinaigrette dressing (I recommend shoyu flavored Del Pietro dressing) and sprinkle just a bit of cheese on that mutha. It'll change your pathetic little salad-eating life. (Oh, also - if fresh dill is within 4 miles of your house, get it in that salad! Don't ask - just do it.)

2) When you make an egg omelet, there are two secrets. 1)Add milk to your egg mixture. This is easy - not all that secret. Just a bit though - don't overdo it. 2) start with high temperature as your pour in your egg/milk mixture. after it hardens a bit, pull the edges towards the center at 4 points, letting some loose egg replace its spot against the pan. This will give some depth and wrinkle to the outside. Then, as you add your additives (I'm not giving you this secret) LOWER THE HEAT. Very low. cook the rest on low, and before it's totally hardened, fold that biyatch in half, turn off the heat, and let it cook itself, creating a seal. This will leave your omelet just a bit wet, but cooked all the way through.

Usually I just give restaurants to go to. But this is one from the old Architecture Football and Food cookbook. Mrs. Architecturefootballandfood has many more recipes, but that's for another day.

And last but not least, for the architecture tip.

This is on a personal note. We've stopped all progression of the bathroom remodel. This is for the simple reason that we've decided that we eventually WILL want to move out of this condo - and hopefully rent it out while we build our own place somewhere on the North Side. So, instead of throwing money in to a design that will almost surely not get an adequate return, we've readjusted our attention to paying as little money as possible to add enough real estate "pop" to our place, like adding mosaic tile to our kitchen backsplash. HGTV says to do so, and who are we to question HGTV? We're also testing our interior design skills by buying really cheap furniture (mainly from Ikea) but using it in really inventive ways to make a super-modern palace for Mr. and Mrs. Architecturefootballandfood. It's kickin' like Van Damme did in his most enjoyable dream sequences, and hopefully it'll get us a pretty penny once we show this sucka on the market.

Please visit this website. It's cool.

I don't want to get into anything to overtly political, since it's not in the title, but please just let me say this: If John McCain and Sarah Palin (SARAH PALIN??? SARAH PALIN!!!) win the presidency over Barack Obama and Joseph Biden, I will think VERY, VERY hard about moving to Japan once and for all. This is a more obvious choice for president than I've ever personally seen, and it's gotten to the point now where listing reasons why isn't only long-winded and almost boring in its clarity, but it seems to almost weaken the argument, because after a certain number of points, it sounds like whining. It's weird.

That's all I'm going to say about that. Because if I say any more, I'll most certainly be accused of being sexist.

I want to thank all the readers who have stuck with me through these horrible, horrible first 100 posts. I'd like to say that the quality of my writing will get better, but after this long without any noticeable difference, its safe to say that this is the muck that you're stuck with. Enjoy the next 100.

The King is dead; Long live the King.

Talk about gloom.

In my years as a Newcastle supporter, very few of them have been positive. After following the Magpies for a while, you quickly realize that there aren't going to be too many good days, and when they come along, you've got to relish them. Most of your days will be spent head in hands, looking at your empty pint glass, wondering what happened between minute 3, when everything seemed like you still had a chance at this match, and minute 93. It's rough going, generally. But these last couple days have gone far, far beyond the typical depression that sweeps over you like the thick, cumulonimbous that is commonplace in the weather pattern that is NUFC. This was "Hurricane Kev," as it were.

A couple weeks ago, we were in season 2 of King Kev's reign. We had 4 points from our first two games, we were in fifth spot in the league, the transfer window was still open, we had a bililonaire English owner who, while at times a bit frugal, really seemed to care about the club he was funding. We had made a couple REALLY exciting aquisitions in Jonas and Curly-ccini, and there was nowhere to go but UP. The national media was even finally giving Newcastle and King Kev some respect after putting in a really fine performance at Old Trafford. Clear skies.

Now fast-forward to Thursday of this week. We get pounded at Arsenal. Kev gets in a petulent screaming match with that little brat Nasri. Transfer deadline day comes and goes with two signings - neither of which make the hairs on your arm stand up - let alone being the "Wow" signing that Ashley promised. You see Manchester City get the huge monetary backing that we all thought we would get when Ashley took charge. King Kev threatens to leave, doesn't, stays holed up in some hotel in Manchester, nobody's talking on either end, so you have to settle for news reports that who knows if they're right, and finally, King Kev, the saviour and only shining light in the future on Newcastle United, resigns. This isn't just a bad day - this is a bad couple weeks, and if you really think about it, this means that nothing really GOOD can happen for the next 2-3 YEARS. SERIOUSLY. I'm not overreacting here. King Kev leaves. Dennis Wise, who the fans HATE, stays. Mike Ashley stays, who just sided with Wise over Kev. Derrick Lambias, the managing director, stays - even though he looks like a tool and nobody knows really WHAT he does - but there are rumours that HES the one who fired Kev in the first place. The REASON Kev quit is because Ashley put the ENTIRE team up for sale on the last day of the transfer window: so you tell me - what PLAYER is going to take to the field this season with an undying passion for quality and victory? What player wouldn't want to get shipped out of there ASAP? For that, what MANAGER would like to come into this laughing stock of a club, and this revolving door of a position? Think about it - whoever comes in knows that A)the fans - the most powerful fans in the UK - will be fervently against them. B)They don't have power to buy or sell players - the reason why KK left in the first place. C)They will probably only last a few months before Ashley gets bored and sacks their butt and D) They will get to join a long line of laughable men who have come and gone from this position without having won anything or succeeded in any way.

Sounds like a great ad for the position, huh?

I don't know what to predict exactly, but the atmosphere at the matches is sure to be ugly at best, and I'm guessing the players won't be playing with any inspiration, let alone with the agressive, passionate attacking style that KK was beginning to get the to play with. The wind will have been taken out of all of them, and I'm not really looking forward to the rest of the season. I mean, whatever manager we do get, it will not be an improvement on the King. I guess this was inevitable - but nobody imagined it would come just 8 months into his reign. There's no interest there for any of the Geordies, and now, instead of one massive love fest towards Newcastle that we had a couple weeks ago, it's nothing less than a violent civil war between owners and fans, and the worst part is that the players, God bless them, will be the ones stuck in the middle.

Now, being the forever optimist that I am, I will leave my readers with one little tiny light at the end of this black-hole of a tunnel. There are very dim rumblings that the middle-eastern billionaire who was interested in buying our club out a few weeks ago may revive his interest after seeing the backlash that the fans gave towards Mike Ashley. If this were to happen, there are rumours that he would bring back King Kev, supply him with a might war-chest to buy players, and, of course, give him the power and responsibility that should intrinsically come with the title of "Manager." But all this is VERY speculative. It is, however, currently, the only way that we could all go back to being truly happy again. :(

The Unfortunate Current State of our Beloved Club

At the moment, I'm still attempting collect my thoughts on this saga that is Kevin Keegan and Newcastle United.

Here is what I know:

1) Kevin Keegan is the most successful manager (not in terms of numbers, but in terms of my own knowledge and witness of the football I've seen under numerous Newcastle United managers) of the club since Sir Bobby Robson.

2) KK plays the type of football that makes me want to watch it - the type that inspires and invigorates. He gets the fans excited about the club and the beautiful game, whether they win that week or not.

3) Mike Ashley is a business man. He's in this to make money. This is not something I can argue against. I believe all the owners are in it to make money. The route they choose to make that money, however, is the variable. Some managers, like Roman Abramovich, choose to invest big in order to win big, thereby trumping their massive input with an even more massive output. Other managers, such as I believe Ashley to be doing with Newcastle, play small-ball. He's trying to buy cheap, foreign, inexpensive talent to prove that they've got the goods for the Premiership and hopefully sell them for big money in a couple years. This may work to a certain extent - but its essentially building a bridge out of toothpicks. It's like saving your pennies in a glass jar so that someday you might be able to buy the Taj mah Hal. It's clear that he's not in this to become the greatest football power in the history of the game, he's in it for five years to make 100 million pounds and buy himself a lifetime supply of beer.

Here's what I don't know:

1) What - EXACTLY - is Dennis Wise's role in all this? Nobody likes this lad, including King Kev. It's clear that he's a little weasel who likes to disrupt things and ruffle feathers so that he can benefit personally. It's been rumoured that he's in charge of signing only YOUNG talent, as in NOT the first team. It's been rumoured that he's in MA's ear, running the club like a dark influence, just waiting to take over after he's waited long enough. It's been rumoured that HE was the man who put up THE ENTIRE SQUAD for sale, and almost sold Alan Smith, Joey Barton, and ST. MICHAEL OWEN, all behind Kev's back. This is disheartening for obvious reasons.

2) Why on God's earth did Ashley hire Keegan, a man who wears his heart on his sleeve and certainly has his own very solid opinions about the game, if he was intending on hiring a ridiculously complicated hierarchy of directors? It seems that Ashley didn't have confidence in his own chosen manager, so he filled in the anticipated gaps with micro-managed positions so that nobody would be overworked. When all this does is alienate people, especially the manager - a position which is supposed to be executive in everything related to the football - INCLUDING TRANSFERS.

What I believe happened (please don't go starting any rumours from this):

I think that Keegan has been slowly getting more and more upset at the appointment and continued reliance on Dennis Wise by Mike Ashley. Keegan came in and after getting acquainted with the squad (the first couple months of poor results in his tenure) has done ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong. He's re-energized the Geordies about their club, got the football to be really fast-paced and beautiful again, and has brought the club back on to the track towards greatness. And he and WE always thought that once the transfer window came, he'd really have the opportunity to begin to mould his squad. Well, that window came and he quickly realized that it wasn't his money OR choice of who we would sign. One of his most important duties as manager was ripped from him and given to that little weasel Dennis Wise. After expressing disappointment to the management and having numerous "crisis talks," Ashley promised Kev that he would give KK divine right on who we would sign and that he was, in fact, in charge of the direction of the club. But money was indeed tight, so he needed to create the funds for this - thus being a bit more lenient in terms of who left the club. There is an overall picture of where we needed to be, and 12M for James Milner could get us in that direction. So Kev swallowed his pride, took the money, only so that he could sign who he wanted in the next few days. Well, those days came and for some reason, he AGAIN wasn't given the power to do so. Dennis Wise (with help from Tony Jimenez) once again had the privilege to sign who he deemed good enough, and SELL who he deemed not good enough, without ANY input from King Kev. Suddenly, the saviour who brought back scintillating football back to St. James Park had become nothing more than a pawn, who was here only to satisfy the fans. So, he issued an ultimatum to Mike Ashley. Either things change and Wise leaves, or I do. Ashley probably said: Okay, get to steppin. The news broke, the inevitable riot act occurred, and Ashley, who had been living in his bubble the past 2 years was ASTOUNDED from the incredible level of support shown by the Geordie faithful for their fearless leader. Ashley withdrew his dismissal, but King Kev realized that the structure was obviously flawed and he wanted out. At this point, I think Kev is truly just getting his monetary ducks in a row so that he can get out without losing any money. Like I said, if I were KK, I'd probably do the same thing, and if he does choose to leave, I wish him the best.

It's a sad day here at the offices of Architecture, Football and Food. My owner has, once again, made a complete mockery of my club, just when I thought he was bringing it back to reality. My favorite manager who was Newcastle United through and through is on his way out, we've got a CRAZY thin squad who are going to be lucky to break into the top 10 and are actually going to struggle against The Unwashed (Sunderland) in the NorthEast Derby this season, and we've got a fan-base who, at its heart, doesn't know whether to show up for any more matches this season or any season after. A club who lives by its heart dies by its heart, and the light is growing dim.

GET IN!! Keegan not sacked YET!!!

Official Club Statement

...And it's gotten worse.

It is with a VERY heavy and incredibly overworked heart that I have to report that the Saviour, King Kevin Keegan looks to be no longer manager of Newcastle United Football Club. If this is true, no matter how it came about, no matter who is responsible, no matter what the conditions are for it, it is a cruel day for all NUFC supporters, and makes a further mockery of my beloved club. I can't say too much about it at the moment because no official news has broken yet. But after such a topsy-turvy, up and down close to the transfer window (which was - I have to say - quite underwhelming - but when looked at the transfer season as a whole - not too shabby in the slightest) this was the last thing I needed.
If King Kev goes, a party of my black and white heart will go with him, and I'm not sure how long it will take the club to stabilize itself. Aw, who am I kidding - Newcastle have NEVER been stable!! That's why we love them so much, isn't it?!

I'll keep my loyal readers posted.

To cheer up this incredibly depressing day, please visit this site and, if in Chicago, GO HERE!!
Scooter's Frozen Custard